“i’m doing my best to
stay occupied and keep my mind
i haven’t thought about you since
friday and even then you were just a
passing thought
my chest doesn’t ache when your
name is brought up in conversation and
i can scroll past your facebook
posts without thinking about what
they would say if i were still in
your life.
i can go out without dressing as if
i were to run into you at
any moment and i can
wake up in the morning without
expecting a good morning text.
i really think i’ve stopped
caring about you and i hope that’s
true but for now i’ve at least
moved on from the
phase of my life that
included you and i am content
with that.”
— you’re gone and that’s okay
“1. first of all how dare you
2. why would you tell me you miss me and then ignore me again
3. do you even care about me
4. did you ever even care about me
5. fall used to be my favorite season but you’ve ruined that
6. my parents still ask about you
7. i feel like you’re used to doing this to people and that’s why so many of your ex’s still have weird crushes on you
8. i still have a weird crush on you
9. like you can’t tell me you’re in love with me and then treat me this way
10. you said that we can still be friends but we aren’t
11. i don’t want to be your friend anyway
12. i can’t be your friend if i still think about you before going to sleep
13. fuck you
14. fuck you and your egotistical personality
15. fuck you and your stupid fucking haircut
16. fuck you and your stupid fucking wallpaper
17. fuck you and your stupid fucking dog
18. (actually scratch that, your dog is okay)
19. i want to get hot enough that i can see you in public and ignore you
20. i fucking hate you (no i don’t)
21. why did you send me those texts
22. why are you so hard to get over
23. why is your mom still friends with me on facebook
24. why can’t i stop thinking about you”
— 24 things i wish i could tell you without actually having to speak to you
“i am pretty in the morning,
with sleepy eyes and cracked
lips and a dewy face and flushed
cheeks and bad
i am pretty when i put makeup
on, when my lips are red and my
cheeks are rosy and my eyelids
are gold and my eyeliner is done to
i am pretty when i am crying,
i am pretty when i am laughing,
i am pretty when i am fuming,
i am pretty when i am shivering,
i am pretty when i am sweating.
i am pretty when my legs
have hair on them and i am
pretty when i haven’t shaved
under my arms for months and
i am pretty when my eyebrows aren’t
groomed and i am pretty when my
face is breaking out a little bit.
i am as pretty as i can be and i’m
sorry you can’t see that.”
— otherwise known as ‘i’m sorry if my natural body embarrasses you’

sadness is accidentally falling asleep
for 14 hours at a time and sadness is
spilling orange juice down the
front of your new white shirt and
sadness is hearing your favorite song on the
radio and not having the energy to sing
along and sadness is pushing away everyone who
was once close to you and sadness is hearing about
tragedies like sandy hook and michael brown
on tv and not even flinching.
sadness is watching your birthday and halloween
and christmas flip away like slides on a
power point and sadness is having your
hair fall out and your nails break and
your skin fade and sadness is having
your handwriting turn sloppy and
your eyes grow dull and void of life
and not knowing how to stop it.

sadness isn’t having someone kiss your scars and
sadness isn’t elegantly crying in the shower
while water cascades around you and
sadness isn’t
putting on a dress and wandering around
a super market alone.

sadness is watching the seasons change in
front of you and sadness is breaking your mother’s
tea cup out of frustration and sadness is
picking fights with your best friend and
not being able to apologize.

sadness is bullshit.

— but you probably already knew that

please leave me alone
and stop sending me snaps of
you and your girlfriend

why are you still here
i don’t want to think of you
stop stop stop stop stop

for the love of god
i wish you would go away
i’m so sick of you

you’re a piece of shit
please stop pushing yourself
back into my life
(when you wanted out of it)

— haikus (kind of)

i’m not easily accesible;
i’m an intricate mapping of
canals and road and highways that
you can’t just come find
whenever you’re
i’m not always available;
you can’t reach me by text
you have to book a
meeting with my secretary two
weeks in advance with respect
to holidays and weekends and
vacation days and ask
her to send me a fax and then
maybe i’ll get back to you. keep
in mind that our hours are 9-3
monday through wednesday.

i’m not someone you can
call late at night when you’re
fighting with your significant other.
i’m not someone you can
invite over when
you’re horny or
lonely or
i’m a person
with feelings that demand to be
felt and acknowledged and i
will not be belittled by
you because you
don’t know what you

i am not what you
expected but i am my
own person and
that is good enough.

— fuck you for thinking otherwise
“There are a million
things I wish I could’ve
told you
like why my dad isn’t
home all the time or
why I can’t watch horror movies anymore or
how I like to drink my tea
(with a splash of milk and a spoonful of honey)
There are more than a
million things I wish I
could’ve told you
but you left before I got
the chance.”
— it’s 12:33am and I miss you

are like a cup of coffee in
more ways than one;
when i first encountered you i
was enticed
you were sweet and engulfed me
in warmth and made
me feel safe and i
couldn’t believe how
fortunate i was to
be in your presence.
the happiness i felt around you
was that similar to waking up on
a cold morning to the smell
of coffee
having my
glasses fog up as i take that
first sip.

days and weeks and months
go by and i’ve stuck you in the
microwave countless times to
try and revive my
feelings for you but
when the thirty seconds
is up i become aware of
what a terrible
mistake i have made.
i don’t want to drag this
out and neither do you
but something keeps pulling
me back
you taste bitter and dark sliding
down my throat and i have
you to blame for the nights
i spend staring at my ceiling and
the warmth that once radiated
from you like a furnace is now
dull and muted and
i can’t
stand it anymore. i know
if i toss you out i won’t
ever see you again and i’m
but at the end of
the day i realize
i don’t even
like the
taste of

— i’m more of a tea person
“when i would hear your name i
immediately felt pangs of
happiness but now
the mere thought of you makes
my chest tighten
and my throat choke
and my eyes tear up
and i can’t seem to picture how it felt
before you came into my life.
my every thought is about you.”
— fuck you
“i don’t miss you but
i want you to
miss me.
i want you to come back and
ask me on a date so i
can say no and watch
your face fall.
i want you to
feel as empty as i
did when you left.
i don’t miss you but
i want to see
you one last time so
i can spit at your
feet and tell you
to have a nice
i don’t miss you and
i hate that i’m
lying to myself
about it.”
— i don’t miss you but